The Language of the Sailors
by SynthaRoboto
Summary: Percy overhears some swearing, he and Paxton end up learning some new words from the foul-mouthed Daniella. Oneshot, not canon with Don't Fear The Reaper/Angel of the Scrapyard. M for profanity.


One day, while Percy was taking some trucks to the Dieselworks, he heard one of the workmen say some words he'd never heard before. The man had accidentally dropped a toolbox on his foot, and said quite a few swear words. When Percy had asked what those words were, he was told not to repeat them, and that it was the "language of the sailors".

Of course, Percy was still curious, so Paxton suggested that they should ask Salty about it. So, they went down to the docks and did just that.

"Er…I'm not sure I should be telling you about the language of the sailors," Salty said awkwardly, "You two are a bit young," he said.

"Please, Salty, I really want to know," said Percy.

"Um, me too," said Paxton.

"Sorry, but I might get in trouble if I do," said Salty.

Percy and Paxton groaned in disappointment. They were just about to leave when Daniella rolled up, dragging a line of troublesome trucks. She had been sent to help with the extra deliveries at the docks, for she was capable of pulling very heavy trains. However, the trucks were giving her a hard time, and as she braked hard to avoid crashing into Paxton, she let out a growl. "Stupid fuckin' goddamn shitty ass pieces of shit! If you lot don't FUCKING BEHAVE I will take my claw and rip your sorry asses right off your frames and throw your remains into the fucking ocean!" she snapped.

The trucks gulped and quieted down at that.

"Salty, she just spoke the sailor language! Um, what does it mean?" said Paxton.

"Paxton, you should leave now," said Salty.

"Sailor language?" Daniella said, puzzled.

"Yes, the workmen at the Dieselworks said that those words were the language of the sailors," said Percy.

" _Oh_ , they must've meant 'cussing like a sailor'," said Daniella.

"Cussing?" Paxton said, puzzled.

"Ya know, swear words. Like fuck an' cock an' piss an' shit," said Daniella.

"Um…what do those words mean?" said Paxton.

"Well, they usually mean somethin' vulgar, like shit means poo, like turds," said Daniella.

"Ewwwww!" Percy and Paxton said in disgust.

"Why do you say those words so much, but we're not allowed to say them?" said Percy.

"I dunno why ya ain't allowed to swear, that's just fuckin' stupid!" said Daniella, "But I usually say em as a way to vent my frustration. Anyway, I better get going here." As Daniella headed off with the misbehaving trucks, she let out another stream of profanity.

"So that's the language of the sailors! Words like fuck and shit," said Percy.

"And piss and cunt," said Paxton. "Um…what's a cunt?" he asked.

"You two really shouldn't be saying those words!" Salty said, but his words fell on deaf ears as Paxton and Percy set off to tell all their friends about the new "language" they had just learned.

That night, when Percy got to Tidmouth sheds, he was very excited.

"What's got you so happy, Percy?" said Thomas.

"I learned a new language!" Percy said proudly.

The engines faces lit up in excitement. "Oooh, can you say something in this new language for us?" said Emily, and the others all murmured in agreement.

"Sure! Here goes: Fuck shitty ass cocksucking bitch," said Percy.

Everyone gasped.

"Amazing, isn't it? It's the language of the sailors," said Percy.

"Percy! That's not a new language, that's _foul_ language," said Gordon.

"Where did you learn all those bad words?" said Emily.

Percy was very embarrassed. "Well, I heard someone say them at the Dieselworks, then I went to the docks to ask Salty about it, and he wouldn't tell me, but then Daniella came along and told me and Paxton all about it," he said.

"Percy, Daniella is—" Thomas began.

"Only the most vulgar diesel in all of existence," James interrupted.

"You're probably right about that, James. She has quite a potty mouth," said Edward.

"Percy, I suggest you don't repeat any words you don't know—If you hear them from Daniella, that is," said Henry.

Meanwhile at the Dieselworks, the diesels were settling in for the night, when Paxton spoke up: "Hey guys! I learned a bunch of new words today,"

The other diesels looked at him.

"Well, what are they?" said Sidney.

"Let's see, AHEM: There's fuck, shit, cock, piss, damn, fucking, ass, hell, cunt—" Paxton was cut off by a loud, familiar voice.

"PAXTON! Where did you learn all that foul language?!" Diesel 10 shouted.

Everyone gulped.

"You're in trouble now, Paxton," said Diesel.

"Well?!" Diesel 10 demanded.

Paxton gulped. "It…was um…it was Daniella," he said nervously.

Diesel 10 rolled his eyes. " _Please_ don't repeat those words. I need to go have a talk with my sister about her potty mouth…" at that, Diesel 10 rolled away, leaving Paxton very embarrassed.

Unfortunately, the very next morning, Daniella had to pass through Knapford station with a heavy goods train. The trucks were giving her a hell of a time by continuously slipping on their brakes, and Daniella slowed to a stop by the platforms.

"Oh for fucks sakes! You fucking goddamn shit-cocking useless pieces of shitty ass shit! Unlock your fuck-damned brakes; you muck-fucking little cunts!" Daniella shouted.

There was a moment of silence as everyone stared at her. Then, the Fat Controller stepped out of his office, and boy was he cross. "Daniella!" he shouted, "You must learn to watch your language! I'll arrange for someone to take your train. You, go to the wash down straight away, you are getting your mouth washed out with soap!"

"Aw, _fuck_!" Daniella muttered as she was uncoupled. Unfortunately for her, Daniella's driver fully agreed with the Fat Controller about her potty mouth, and took her to get it washed out. Daniella was not pleased with this, especially because people took pictures, and soon everyone knew about the foul-mouthed engine who got her mouth washed out.


End file.
